Finding Us Page 10

  Abby waited for her mother to deny it or say some snide comment, but beyond a small gasp, Vivien said nothing.

  “What, you have nothing to say?” She raised her voice. Silence wasn’t something she ever got from her mother.

  Abby noticed a shadow at the door of the room. Danny was hovering just outside the threshold. He looked as if he was deciding whether to knock on the door and come inside. She could see he was worried and concerned. It would be so easy to wave him in and lean on him for support, but she wanted to take control of her life. That meant relying on herself to be strong, not everyone else.

  “Abby, that was…” Vivien fumbled over her words. “He was—”

  Abby cut her off, too impatient to wait for her mom to figure it out. “You know what? I don’t want to know.”

  She ended the call and turned off her phone. Abby was done. There was nothing her mother could say that would make sleeping with Abby’s boyfriend okay.

  Abby sank onto the couch and took a moment to gather herself. She rested her head against the cushion and closed her eyes.

  So much for her perfect life. She’d give up all the fame, money, and notoriety to have parents who loved her and didn’t want anything from her except her love in return. Trying to maintain a shiny exterior when the rest of her life was crumbling in decay was exhausting.

  She lifted her head when she heard a knock at the door. Danny stood there, and she felt bad for ignoring him before. He looked so worried for her. When was the last time that happened? No one ever worried about her? Or cared how she felt about things. She was the provider. The worker. The person that went out of her way to do for others.

  “Can I come in?”

  Her heart swelled with emotions. He was such a good guy, the kind she use to dream about. He was the type of guy she wished for when she was younger. The guy that put her before anyone else. The type of guy that cared for her and didn’t want to hurt her. She could fall for him so easily—hard and fast. She wasn’t sure she hadn’t already. But her judgment was crap when it came to men. She’d trusted Sean once upon a time, too, but he’d turned out to be a controlling, manipulative, abusive asshole. Just like her father. She needed to be more cautious. To move slowly. Until she learned to trust herself a little more, it wasn’t fair to get involved with anyone. Especially a guy like Danny.

  “Sure.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” He sat down next to her on the couch.

  Did she want to talk about it? Not really, but she had to let him in on some of it. He needed to know. “Well, Sean’s been let go. That’s the good news.”

  Danny’s shocked expression told her he was just as surprised as Abby had been. “That is good news. I really didn’t know which way your mother was leaning. But if that’s the good news that means there’s bad news. Do you want to share it?” he asked, hesitantly.

  “Well…” She sighed. Did she really want to share this with Danny? Or anyone for that matter? It was one thing for everyone to know about the photos, but it was another to say aloud that your mother really was as horrible as they all thought. She knew everyone thought Vivien was a bitch, but thankfully they were all too professional to ever say it outright. “I hadn’t really planned on telling her about those pictures, but it just sort of came out. She was being all smug and condescending and I just couldn’t stop myself. She didn’t even try to deny it. I don’t know why I thought she would. I guess I was just hoping that maybe…I know completely stupid and obviously they are real.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. At least I don’t have to worry about Sean anymore. He’s gone. That right there is a reason to celebrate. Thank you for that.” She paused to find the right words. “I’m so grateful…I just…thank you.” Abby was making a mess of this. Her voice defined her, shaped her life and her career, won her the adoration of millions, and now, when she needed it most, it failed her. How could she possibly explain how much she valued Danny? How much his care and kindness meant to her? She knew his feelings for her went beyond the normal client-bodyguard relationship, but he worked so hard to hide it. He didn’t want her to know, and while she didn’t like it, she had to respect it. In order to do that, she had to maintain at least a small amount of her personal dignity. Anything she might say to convey her gratitude would also reveal the depth of her feelings for him, something she wasn’t willing to do when he clearly didn’t want her to. Instead, he played this painful game of push-pull that drove her mad and made her feel vulnerable in a way that Sean or her mother never had. She just couldn’t expose herself further. Not until Danny was ready. And if that never happened, so be it.

  She stared into his brown eyes that sparkled back at her with so many questions behind them. She loved his eyes. She could get lost in them. Abby inched closer to Danny, her gaze moving to his full lips. God, she desperately wanted to feel them brush against her own, to taste the sweetness of his kiss.

  She’d tried to deny her attraction. How many times had Sean accused her of being hot for Danny? Too many to count, and now she was inches away from him, and all she could think was how much she really wanted to feel his lips, his tongue caressing hers. She couldn’t tell him how she felt, but goddamn she wanted this. Fuck it, she thought as she leaned in even closer.

  “Ab—” Danny started, but a knock at the door stopped him.

  “Abby, you’re needed on stage.” Sophie stood in the open door, head down over her clipboard. She looked up, and her smile faded. She did a visible double take. “Umm…”

  Danny shot to his feet, his movements too rushed to be graceful. He darted a glance at Abby then took a hasty step away from the couch, his complexion grew darker with every second. In any other circumstance, Abby would have found his blush adorable. Now, however, it was mostly horrifying.

  “Oh, shit.” Sophie stared at him then at Abby. “Um…it’s time for your sound check,” she managed.

  Danny ran both hands through his hair. “I’ll wait outside.”

  He left, and Sophie stared at Abby. “Is that a good idea for you and him?”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Abby sighed. “Nothing happened.” She stomped out of the dressing room, cursing Sophie’s timing. Lately it seemed that all she did was make an ass of herself, and she was so fucking sick of it. To top it off, Danny ran from her like a fifteen-old-boy caught with his hand up his date’s shirt. Fuck my life. The day had barely started, and she was already humiliated. And there was nothing she could do to change it.

  * * *

  Fuck!

  Danny berated himself. Didn’t he say earlier today that he needed to maintain his distance from Abby? And he’d done such a good job. But then she was right there, looking at him with those eyes, her face tilted toward him with her lips slightly parted. God, he wanted to kiss her. Everything inside him felt perfect as they moved close enough for him to feel her breath upon his lips. He would have kissed her. Completely.

  What the fuck were you thinking, Nucci?

  Now he needed to get through the rest of the day, which included standing in the wings and watching as she strutted her sexy little body across the stage for sixty-thousand people.

  It took every ounce of strength he had to not let that kiss happen. Even then, it hadn’t been enough. Thank God for Sophie and her bad timing. A few moments later, and she would have found them entangled with Abby beneath him as he fumbled to get the front of her pants open.

  But now here he stood, watching Abby going over tonight’s playlist with her band, and the only thing he could think was how her body told him everything he didn’t want to know. She wanted him. It didn’t escape Danny that during their almost-kiss her breath had skipped, then sped up as her body inched closer and closer to his. And her eyes—those damn fucking eyes—split their time between looking at him and looking at his lips. And he’d wanted to devour her. Just thinking about it, and he was hard again.

  He knew what he should do. If any of his employees came to him and told
him that they almost kissed the person they were hired to protect, he’d immediately reassign them. No question about it. Nobody could effectively do his job while constantly fighting the overwhelming need to possess his client, when all he wanted was to be so deep inside her that the world narrowed to the sharp, beautiful moment where only she exists. As he watched Abby, he could barely think, let alone function well enough to ensure her safety. So much for not thinking with his dick.

  While he would immediately step in if an employee was in his situation, there was no way he could force himself to leave Abby. Knowing the right thing and doing it were two totally different fucking things. He was a hypocrite, and he didn’t care. There was no way in hell he was going to let anyone else protect her. He would never step down. All he had to do was maintain his distance.

  He needed boundaries. There was no way he could avoid her, so he had to figure out how to keep things professional. He found it hard to stand near her and not touch her. Guiding her through crowds would be hard enough. He always kept a hand on her, or an arm around her, in those situations. He simply didn’t trust himself to be alone with her in private. Besides, he was her bodyguard, not her fucking counselor. If she was upset, he needed to take a step back and let Sophie handle it. He should have been doing that all along. But he hadn’t, and he’d let himself get emotionally involved.

  Next, he had to figure out a way to stop getting hard every time she smiled at him or laughed or walked or…

  Fuck!

  He needed to pull himself together. Fast.

  * * *

  “Good night San Francisco, I love you!” Abby yelled to the crowd, and they roared even louder. Danny waited in the wings of the stage to escort her directly to her dressing room and then straight to a waiting limo. The show’s vibe was so much better without Sean. More relaxed and happy. Plus, Eric had indeed proved he was worthy of the chance, and if he did that well in the next show, she’d give him the gig on a permanent basis.

  Abby ran off the stage and right to Danny.

  “Hey you,” he greeted. “Excellent show.”

  “Thanks. It felt good.”

  He ushered Abby straight to her dressing room where she quickly showered and changed so that they could leave for the airport. There was no time to chat. Sophie had all her essential items out, and that made things run smoothly. Abby opened the door of her dressing room, completely dressed and ready to go, forty minutes later.

  “Done?” Danny asked.

  “Yes, I think that’s a new record.”

  “I know it is,” he teased, and Abby immediately felt like maybe things would be okay between them.

  She smiled and tried to ignore the rush of butterflies fluttering in her belly. She averted her gaze. The last thing she wanted was for things to be weird, and she wasn’t sure how he felt about the almost-kiss. Shit, she wasn’t even sure how she felt, but she knew she didn’t want their relationship to change because of one stupid, thoughtless slipup.

  They walked in silence with Sophie behind them. The entire situation felt strange and awkward. Abby hadn’t had a free moment to speak with Sophie, and she didn’t really want to go there with her. She knew what Sophie would say, and it wasn’t something Abby didn’t already know. Hooking up with Danny would be disaster. He was her bodyguard. Hired to protect her. He wasn’t here for anything more. She knew this, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a pretty big part of her that was disappointed. She was in trouble. No matter how much she wanted him, it was the wrong time. And Danny wasn’t the kind of guy to wait around.

  “You rocked it up there.” Someone shouted as they passed by a group of onlookers that had gotten their hands on some backstage passes.

  Danny motioned for her to precede him. They walked in silence down the narrow hallway that led to the exit. The quiet between them brought a knot to her stomach. She desperately wanted to break the silence, but she couldn’t think of anything to say. The buzz from the show was rapidly wearing off.

  Danny and Scott moved her quickly down the hallway behind the stage, and three huge bodyguards that worked for the arena helped to protect Abby from the backstage onlookers. Before she knew it, she was in the backseat of the limo and speeding away from a crowd of fans that were running after them.

  “How’d it feel up there tonight?” he asked as they settled into the ride.

  A bit of the tension in her shoulders eased at the gentle concern in his voice.

  “So much better than it has. Relaxed. I had a really good time.”

  “Good.” He smiled at her then turned to look out the window.

  There was definitely a strange sort of “thing” between them that made Abby wish she hadn’t tried to kiss him. That easy-going, back-and-forth banter they always had was gone, and it felt as if they were two strangers sitting next to each other in a car.

  Abby looked over at Sophie as she organized her binder. Subtle. There were only two options. One, she could address the huge fucking elephant in the car with them. Or two, she could ignore it. Abby thought it best to let it go. She leaned against the seat and closed her eyes. Maybe things would calm down in a few days.

  * * *

  The bus pulled onto the interstate. Next stop, Los Angeles. This would be the last gig on this leg of the tour. Abby planned to work for a portion of the two-week break in New York, but it would be nice to be in the same spot for longer than forty-eight hours. She had an apartment in the city and wouldn’t have to be in a hotel or on the bus. That was enough to make her excited about the break.

  “One more stop,” Sophie said, clearly enthusiastic. They were finishing up a midnight snack in the bus’s kitchen.

  “Somebody’s excited for some time off,” Abby teased.

  “I love you girl, but I need time in the same spot for more than a night or two. I can’t wait to do nothing except shop.”

  “Should I call the ladies at the Jimmy Choo boutique on Fifth Avenue to give them a heads up?”

  Sophie laughed and flipped her off.

  “You flip off your employer?” She asked and put her hand over her mouth, feigning shock.

  “Night ladies,” Danny said, and Abby watched him walk toward the back of the bus.

  “Off to bed already?” Sophie asked.

  Abby narrowed her eyes. She had dodged Sophie’s questions all night about what didn’t happen in her dressing room.

  “Yeah, I’m beat.”

  “You sure you don’t want to join us? Abby doesn’t bite. Usually.” Sophie winked and started laughing.

  “Knock it off,” Abby said, injecting a clear warning into her voice. She glanced at Danny, but he was looking the other way.

  “Night,” Sophie said in a singsong voice. “Don’t worry we’ll talk low.” Sophie winked at him.

  “Actually, I’m going to bed, too.” Abby got up, dumped what was left of her fruit in the trash, and put her bowl in the sink. There was no way she was going to talk about today with Sophie, especially not while Danny was within hearing range.

  “What?” Sophie asked innocently.

  “I’m exhausted. See you in the morning.” Abby waved over her shoulder to both Sophie and Scott, who was watching TV. In a few days, this would all blow over, and Sophie would forget what she’d walked in on; she hoped.

  As Abby approached her room, Danny was getting his bunk ready. Abby squeezed by Danny, like she did a hundred times before. “Excuse me,” she said softly.

  Danny straightened and stepped back to let her pass. At that exact moment, the bus hit a pothole, and she fell into him. They were jolted back against the other set of bunk beds behind them.

  “Shit,” Abby said, more shocked than anything else.

  “I’ve got you.” Danny pulled her against his chest. Abby circled one arm around his waist and held onto his arm with the other. She moved closer. He tightened his grip as the bus continued over a long, rough patch of road, and Abby secretly hoped it would stay that way for a while.

  She let herself
relax against him and surrendered to his voice, his smell, his touch. He surrounded her, and she didn’t care that they were getting pushed around from the potholes. She was more focused on how good it felt to be in his arms, and that scared her. The last thing she needed was to fall for someone. She needed time to figure things out on her own. There was no question she liked him a bit too much, but that didn’t mean she had to act on it. The timing was all off and as long as he was working for her, she couldn’t let herself cross that line.

  “You okay?” Danny asked.

  “Yeah, thanks.” She looked up at him and was again struck by his thoughtful eyes and sincere smile. He was so good. Goodhearted. Good-natured. And maybe she didn’t know how to handle that. She liked him too much to screw up what they had now. But turning off her feelings was a lot harder than she’d thought it would be.

  “You sure?”

  “Fine, thanks,” she whispered, nervously biting her lip as she untangled herself from him. “Night.”

  They both maintained their eye contact until she reached back and searched for the knob to her door. When her hand finally found it, she turned and walked inside her bedroom. Danny stared at her the entire time, and she met his gaze for one long final moment before closing the door.

  Abby woke, startled by her ringing phone and rolled over to grab it.

  “Hello?” she answered, her voice still raspy with sleep. She was met with light breathing on the other end. She cleared her throat and tried again, “Hello?” Nothing. Whoever it was hung up.

  She checked her call log but didn’t know the number. After the incident with Sean and his crazy, she’d switched numbers and blocked him just to be safe. Still, this was too similar to the calls he made before he grabbed her last time. Or, it could be nothing. To be safe, she’d let Sophie know about it later just in case one of those services that sells celebrity phone numbers had figured out her number already. That was a pain in the ass, but a part of being in the public eye she supposed. And, if it happened again, she’d let Danny know, too, just in case. Abby powered down her phone. All she wanted was a little more sleep, and the phone already woke her up once.